Loving Brothers and Sisters in Christ
John 13: 33 Little children, I am with you a little while longer. You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, now I also say to you, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come.’ 34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Well, today we continue on our series of messages on love. We started with our greatest commandment; to love God Supremely. Then we went on to children loving parents and parents loving children. Last week we considered how Scripture defined and commanded that husbands and wives love each other. And today we are going to start looking at loving brothers and sisters in Christ. I say that we are going to start with it because there is too much here to finish in one week.
It was again interesting to study this command in Scripture and to compare it to the other loves. I told you in the first week that there is no explicit command in Scripture that says; children love your parents. I told you in the next sermon that there are very few verses that directly command that parents love their children.
And last week, as we considered the love between husband and wife, but discovered only two verses that used the word love to command wives regarding their love husbands, and 4 that commanded that husbands love wives. Maybe that is saying something to us men.
But we also discovered that instead of using the word “love” for these relationships, what Scripture does is defines “love” in each case.
Today, we look at love for brothers and sisters in Christ. You may wonder why we are not starting with brothers and sisters within the physical family. Well, the reason is that Scripture says little to nothing about these extended family relationships; siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, 3rd cousins twice removed. Once we leave the nuclear family, the specific instructions concerning love cease, and we move to the last three kinds of love; love your brothers and sisters in Christ, love your neighbors, and love your enemies.
So, today we move to loving your brothers and sisters in Christ; fellow Christians. And this is such an important command. We know that it is very important for multiple reasons. First, because it was one of the last commands that Jesus gave His disciples before His death, and He put great emphasis on it.
Second, we also know how important it is because of all of our collective experiences. Churches where there is genuine love exercised are glorious places to be. But churches where there is an undercurrent or even open disdain and distrust, are unpleasant and stressful to be a part of.
But third, we also know how important love for brothers and sisters in Christ is because of how often it is commanded in Scripture. We talked about how few times spouses are commanded to love each other; 6. There are 16 times that Scripture uses the phrase, “love one another” regarding Christians loving each other. There are 4 more times that though the exact words, “love one another” aren’t used, they are implied.
Ephesians 4: Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, exhort you to walk worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
There are 8 times that Scripture calls for “love of the brethren or brotherly love.”
1 John 3:14 “We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers.”
So, all told, we have at least 28 commands to love our brothers and sisters in Christ.
So, that is what we are beginning today.
Prayer
We are going to outline this outline these messages as we have the previous ones on love; the command to love defined, the warning if you don’t, the blessing if you do.
Commands to Love Brothers and Sisters in Christ
I just said that Scripture repeatedly commands Christians to love one another. Let me give you just a few examples.
The Scripture reading passage from earlier.
John 13:34–35 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you…”
There are two other times in John’s gospel that Jesus says the same thing.
Paul commands it in his letters to the churches.
Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love…” and 1 Thessalonians 4:9 “…you yourselves are taught by God to love one another.”
The author of the book of Hebrews says in Hebrews 13:1 “Let love of the brothers continue.”
Peter emphasized not just love, but fervent love. 1 Peter 1:22 “…fervently love one another from the heart.” 1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another…”
The apostle John also reiterates the command 6 times in his two short epistles and goes so far as to say that if you don’t love your brother, you don’t love God.
1 John 4: 20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.
So, the fact that love is commanded between believers is not in question. But just as Scripture defined for us all of the other kinds of love, it defined love for fellow believers. So, what are the ingredients to the recipe of love for fellow Christians? What goes into that love? Here’s the list we are going to look at; Brotherly love pursues unity and peace, serves sacrificially, patiently bears with one another, forgives one another, speaks with grace and encouragement to one another, prays for one another, helps restore and strengthen spiritually, shows hospitality and generosity, honors and prefers one another, and bears one another’s burdens.
Now, that’s a lot. But it shows just how important love between Christians is. In fact, I’ve often wondered if part of the reason that God might not bless a church is because of the lack of love. Just think about it, even a secular state adoption agency will look at those who desire to adopt a baby or a child, and they will ask the question, “will this child be loved and nurtured to healthy adulthood in this household?” Do we think that God is any less concerned about placing believers into loving and nurturing churches? He will move His children into places that will love them, nurture them, and provide examples of love between all the members of the family.
So, let’s go to defining love between fellow Christians. The first part of the definition of that love is that it pursues unity and peace.
Psalm 133:1 says “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!”
And love between brothers and sisters in Christ has to begin with them being united peacefully. We often talk about unity among Christians, but what does it really mean? Some seem to believe that if we can just get Christians together under one roof, and set aside all differences, don’t even talk about the differences, and get along, that that is Christian unity.
I had a conversation with the teacher across the hall from me a few months ago. At our school we have a Christian student club that meets every week. They’ve named it “Engage” or something like that. The club was started by one of the more evangelical protestant teachers. But I noticed that this teacher across the hall had the flyer on his door advertising the club. I know that he is Roman Catholic, so I asked him if he went to the club meetings. I don’t go, and I was curious about how many kids go, and what they do etc.
He told me that he doesn’t go either. And then he explained why. He said that he was hesitant to go to those type of cross-denominational meetings because he didn’t want to try and navigate the minefield of differences in denominations. He knew that going to those meetings would end up, whether as a group, or in private conversations, discussing the differences between Catholic and Protestant for example.
And then he said this about his view of the differences, “I think that the differences between denominations is like eating ice cream; some people put sprinkles on it, other chocolate syrup, other nuts. But ultimately we are all eating ice cream.”
In that analogy, I guess Jesus is the ice cream. But is that what the Bible is talking about when it calls for unity and peace? Either a group of people gathered under the generic name of “Christian” and avoiding any conversations about differences, or talking about the differences as though they are simply personal preferences? I like my preacher in a suit, you like the robe.
There are several Scripture passages that define love between Christians with words like unity and peace. Let’s look at some of them.
Colossians 3:14 “And above all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”
Romans 14:19 “So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.”
1 Corinthians 1:10 “…that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you…”
Ephesians 4:1–3 Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, exhort you to walk worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 being diligent to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Now, taken together, these verses could make a nice Joel Osteen message entitled, “Can’t we all just get along?” But what is the real definition of unity in Scripture. I am going to remind you of an old phrase I’ve referenced before about Christian unity. “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.”
So, let’s look at that. “In essentials, unity.” What that is saying is that there are doctrines of Christianity that are essential. Let’s look at one of the verses I referenced above.
1 Corinthians 1:10 “…that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you…”
But why did Paul say that? He was addressing divisions and disagreements in the Corinthian church. What was the disagreement? If you read on in the next verses...
11 For I have been informed concerning you, my brothers, by Chloe’s people, that there are quarrels among you. 12 Now I mean this, that each one of you is saying, “I am of Paul,” and “I of Apollos,” and “I of Cephas,” and “I of Christ.”
There were divisions in the church over loyalties and pastoral preferences. They were dividing into groups in the church, following certain teachers of the gospel. “I follow the teaching of Paul, Apollos, or Cephas.”
But what is Paul’s response?
13 [h]Has Christ been divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized [i]in the name of Paul?
His response indicates that there should be an essential unity around Jesus Christ. In other words, “you all may prefer the styles of one preacher over another, but all of them fall under the authority of Jesus Christ. And all their teaching was to be judged by one standard; was it the gospel of Christ.
And when Scripture calls for unity in the church, there are certain essentials under which we must be unified. Let me go back to that ice cream analogy. My fellow teacher was saying, “Well, we are all eating ice cream, we just have different preferences for toppings.” But what if your ice cream isn’t really ice cream, or what if one of your toppings is laced with arsenic?
Concerning essential doctrines, I’ve always said that an essential doctrine is one either regarding how a person is saved, and regarding the nature of God. For example, if a church is teaching that you are saved by doing good works; baptism, confession, taking the Lord’s table etc, they have destroyed the road to salvation; we cannot stand by and “just get along.” You have laced the ice cream with arsenic. In addition, if a church is teaching that Jesus was just a man, not God, or that God used to be a man who became God, then the ice cream isn’t really ice cream. You may say you believe in “God” and in “Jesus” but you have simply built your own idol, and gave it the name “Jesus” or “God.”
In both of those cases, regarding salvation and the nature of God in Christ, it is essential that we get them right, because our eternal souls are at stake if we don’t.
So, what is a non-essential? Let’s look again at one of the passages I referenced.
Romans 14:19 So then [f]let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.
Again, this is a nice generic statement about getting along, but we need to look at the context to see why Paul said it. The very next verses in that chapter say this.
20 Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are clean, but they are evil for the man who eats [g]and gives offense. 21 It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your brother stumbles.
There was a problem in the first century Christian world about eating meat sacrificed to idols. In the idol temples, just like in the Jewish temple, animals would be brought for a sacrifice to a deity. An animal was sacrificed to a god. A portion of the animal was burned on the altar of that deity. Part was eaten in pagan temple feasts. And then the remaining meat was often sold in public markets.
Some Christians had no problem eating the meat. They reasoned that the idol was false. Zeus, and Aphrodite were just fiction stories. So, they thought, “Food is food.” But other Christians had a big problem with it. Jewish Christians who came out of a strict culture that restricted the food they ate, and how it was prepared, and Christians who came out of the pagan culture, who had lived that whole pagan idolatry, mixed with all kinds of pagan practices.
Both of these groups had a mental hang-up about eating this meat. And so, it really threw a monkey wrench into the church potluck dinners.
Do you know what Paul’s solution was? In non-essentials; liberty. Everybody was given the freedom to eat or not eat. And he advised a couple of things; for those who had no problem eating the meat, don’t push the issue with those who have a problem. Be gracious. Bring a kosher hamburger dish to the church dinner. And for those who still had a problem eating the meat; don’t judge someone else’s liberty. In other words; “In all things, charity.”
This is the definition of Christian liberty; In the essentials we have to be united, in the non-essentials we have liberty, but in all things we have charity toward each other.
But before we move on to the next part of the definition of Christian love for brothers and sisters let me say this. I think that we have gotten to the place where we are afraid to even discuss differences. We have defined loving our brothers and sisters in Christ as keeping our mouths shut about differences.
Something tells me that Paul wouldn’t have shied away from a good theological debate. Let me ask you this, have you ever discussed the doctrine of tongues with a Pentecostal? Have you ever discussed baptismal immersion with a Methodist? Have you ever discussed women in ministry with a modern evangelical church member?
And I’m not talking about sitting down with someone you agree with. I mean sitting down and talking about what Scripture says. I dare say that most would say no, they have not had those conversations. And I think there are a couple reasons for that. First, it’s a no-no in our society to make the assertion that my belief is true, and yours is false. Most people will not have a civil discussion with you.
Second, we don’t know our Bibles well enough to “give an answer for what we believe.” Third, we, and other Christians value a shallow “peace” over truth. But is that really how unity and peace are defined in Scripture? No. Scripture is full of examples where sincere Christian people sat down together and hammered out differences. Sometimes they came away in agreement, other times they “agreed to disagree.” But they didn’t just avoid the question for harmony’s sake.
What is the next part of the definition of brotherly love between believers?
2. Serve One Another Sacrificially
History tells us that as the world gets darker, the light of Christ stands out more in contrast to that darkness. We know of nations that have gone through some very dark and evil times. But we have also heard of the light of Christ shining brightly from believers in those times. And usually, they way we have seen the light of Christ manifest is through sacrificial service.
Some of the clearest examples come from periods of war, persecution, plague, oppression, and social collapse where Christians became known not primarily for political power, but for sacrificial love and service.
During the Roman Persecutions, pagan writers were often shocked that Christians stayed behind to care for the sick during plagues while others fled the cities. In the second and third centuries, believers risked their own lives to nurse the dying, bury the abandoned dead, feed widows and orphans, and care for prisoners condemned for their faith. Historians have noted that Christianity spread rapidly in part because the love Christians showed during epidemics stood in such stark contrast to the fear and selfishness around them.
During the Black Death in Europe, many Christians remained to minister to the sick when entire communities collapsed in fear. Some pastors and ordinary believers knowingly exposed themselves to disease in order to feed families, comfort the dying, and provide Christian burials. Their sacrificial service became a testimony to hope in the middle of death.
Under the brutality of Nazi Germany, believers such as Dietrich Bonhoeffer resisted evil at great personal cost. Christians hid Jews in homes, smuggled children to safety, forged documents, and endured imprisonment or death because they believed obedience to Christ demanded sacrificial love for their neighbors. Corrie ten Boom and her family became famous for sheltering Jewish refugees even though they knew it could cost them their lives.
In the communist oppression of the twentieth century — especially in places like China and the former Soviet Union — believers often met secretly, endured prison camps, lost jobs, and suffered torture rather than deny Christ. Yet many testimonies from persecuted Christians describe believers sharing food in prison cells, caring for fellow prisoners, secretly copying Scripture by hand, and forgiving persecutors. The darker the oppression became, the brighter Christian love appeared.
During the Rwandan genocide, there were believers who protected members of rival tribes, hid families from militias, and later publicly forgave those who had murdered relatives. In some villages, churches became places of refuge where Christians risked death to shelter others.
You can also point to modern examples in areas devastated by war, disaster, or poverty. Christian missionaries, churches, and relief workers are often among the first to enter dangerous places and the last to leave. Whether in refugee camps, disaster zones, orphanages, underground churches, or hospitals, the testimony is often the same: the light of Christ becomes most visible when believers willingly sacrifice comfort, safety, reputation, or even life itself for the good of others.
So, with those instances as our examples, I’ll ask the question, “Where is that kind of sacrificial love within our church today?” Loving your brothers and sisters in Christ means sacrificing; time, finances, conveniences, sleep, and the list could go on. Let’s look at Scripture.
Acts 20:31 Paul said: “For a period of three years I did not cease to admonish each one with tears night and day.” Paul poured enormous amounts of time into strengthening believers, teaching them personally, warning them, and discipling them.
Churches of Macedonia — 2 Corinthians 8:1–5 Though poor themselves: “Their deep poverty overflowed in the wealth of their liberality.” These churches sacrificially gave money to suffering believers in Jerusalem.
Epaphroditus — Philippians 2:25–30 He traveled long distances carrying aid and ministering to Paul in prison, sacrificing comfort and safety. “He came close to death for the work of Christ.” He literally endangered his health while serving another believer.
Priscilla and Aquila — Romans 16:3–4 Paul says: “who for my life risked their own necks.” They endangered themselves to protect another believer.
Hebrews 10:32–34 Believers: “showed sympathy to the prisoners and accepted joyfully the seizure of your possessions.” Christians risked persecution by publicly identifying with suffering believers.