Sermon Title: Loving Your Parents
Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which Yahweh your God gives you.
Well, we are continuing in a series of messages today about love. When we go to Scripture for instruction about how we are to treat others, the primary word that summarizes it all is love. If we remember any command from Scripture it should be Jesus’ summary of all the commands when He said that the greatest command is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and then the second command is to love our neighbor as ourselves.
Well, that’s where we are in this series today. Last week we talked about loving God.
Jesus said that the greatest commandment is not first about marriage, children, friendship, or even parents. It is first about God. Only after that did He say, “The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” The order matters. Love for others flows out of love for God.
So, this week we are really starting on “love your neighbor as yourself.” But we are now asking that question asked of Jesus 2000 years ago, “who is my neighbor?”
If you break down how Jesus answered that, it comes down to your neighbor being whoever happens to be near you in this moment. You are commanded to love the person next to you. So, I hope you chose your seat carefully this morning, because if you look to your right, left, front and back, those are the people you are to love.
Well, in these sermons, I am following a natural order; love God, parents, children, brothers and sisters, and enemies.
And I placed love parents first because outside of our relationship with God, we had a relationship with a parent before we had a relationship with anyone. You might say, “I was adopted.” But even if you were adopted, before that adoption day, even for a few short months, you had a relationship with a parent. And then you had a relationship with an adoptive parent. And that relationship shaped you in some fashion. Of course the ideal then would be that you are born and form a relationship with both father and mother.
So how do we summarize your part of that relationship? You are to love your parents: They are your first neighbors.
I can’t help but think of the perfect example of that love for parents in Scripture. Jesus. Remember when He was 12? It says that He and Mary and Joseph went with a traveling group to the feast in Jerusalem. And on the return, he got separated and was left behind in Jerusalem. After a couple of harrowing days of searching, they found Him in the temple, having theological discussions with the experts on Scripture. Remember Mary said to Him, “why have you treated us this way?”
Do you remember Jesus’ response? In essence what He said was, “I don’t know why you wouldn’t have first looked for me in the temple, don’t you realize that I must be about my Father’s business?”
Now, there’s a lot to unpack there, but that statement tells us about Jesus’ love for His Father. His Heavenly Father. The Son loves the Father. He wanted to be near the Father, in His Father’s house, the temple. He wanted to be talking about the Father’s book; the Scripture, He wanted to be about His Father’s business; reaching the Father’s people; the Jews.
Jesus was the perfect example of loving His Heavenly Father. But notice that He also demonstrated love to His earthly parents, after this He submitted Himself to them.
Now, none of us have perfect parents, like God. But we are commanded to love them even as God the son loved God the father. We are going to look at that today.
Here's where we are going with love your parents. There are three points in this message the first one is long and the next two are short.
They are the command to love your parents, the warning if you don't, the blessing if you do.
I. The Command to Love Parents
Now here’s an Interesting note, there is no command in scripture that says love your parents, no command that says; love your father and mother. So why are you saying that we are to love our parents. Despite the fact that there is no specific command to love parents, there is a command to love everyone,
John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
to love your neighbor.
Romans 13:8 Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves [a]his neighbor has fulfilled the law.
And parents fall under that but what scripture does is it defines love for parents. It tells you what love looks like. It says things like listen to your parents, obey your parents, accept their discipline, and honor your parents.
The four parts are listen to your parents, obey your parents, accept discipline, and honor your parents. Why are there 4 parts? This is the first human relationship of love that most will experience. It is the foundation on which we learn to love. It is the model for loving God. I think this relationship to parents is second only to God. Of course, in the future your relationship with your spouse will take precedent over it. But we come into this world as children.
So this is the list. Let's breakdown each of these parts listen, obey, except, and honor.
First, Listen to your parents
The very first thing Scripture commands in your relationship your parents is to listen to them.
Hear your father's instruction
The word “hear” carries more than passive listening—it implies attentive obedience. This is a call to receive instruction with the intent to act. Receive disciplined correction and moral training As guidance for life, not just advice. And notice, the pairing of father and mother shows that both share equal authority in shaping the child. Loving parents begins with a posture of humility that values their wisdom listens to them.
Here’s a parallel passage
This verse emphasizes That it is a lifelong honor. Don't despise instruction even when parents are old“despise” includes neglect, disregard, or treating as insignificant. And “when she is old” points to a stage where the parents themselves may be weak or dependent. This shows that true love for parents is not proven in youth, but in how one listens to parents when they can no longer give anything in return.
So the first command is to listen to your parents.
Obey your parents
Listen and obey. Just hearing them without obedience is empty hypocrisy. That reminds me of the parable Jesus told of the man with two sons. He says to one son go work today in my vineyard and the son said to his father “I go Sir” but then didn't go. He asked the other son to go and that son said I will not but then repented and went. Then Jesus asked the question which of these two did the will of his father. Of course the obvious answer was the one who heard and obeyed the father.
The Greek word for “obey” (hypakouō) literally means to listen under—to place oneself under Their authority.
In all things not just when you feel like it, or agree with it
The phrase “in all things” highlights the comprehensive nature of obedience—it is not selective. Why are you to do that? The motivation is key: it is “pleasing to the Lord.” Loving parents is not ultimately about them—it is about honoring God. So, Obedience becomes an act of worship.
That opens up a question. What if parents command something that which is not right. It is against God's commands. Well, there is a principle that is found in all of Scripture.
God's commands are higher Than all other commands. We understand that. For example Scripture says to obey the rules of the government. But if the government commands us to disobey God then we obey God rather than the government. Scripture also commands spouses to submit to one another. but if a spouse demands something that is against God's command we follow God's command we submit to God rather than to spouse. The same principle applies here we submit and obey parents as long as they are not commanding something contrary to the will and word of God.
This refers to the everyday task. Take out the trash. Room. dishes. Homework. X10 eriod
The words commandment and law elevate.
To reject it is not just rebellion against parents, but a rejection of wisdom itself.
What is the elephant in the room? Do parents get things wrong? Yes. Are parents sometimes unfair, play favorites? Yes. But as long as they are not telling you to curse God, or do something illegal, or immoral. If they are not abusing you, obey them as you would obey God your perfect heavenly father.
The third part of love is to Accept the discipline of your parents.
There are several passages of Scripture regarding this.
This goes back to listening and Obeying, but it goes one step further. It defines it further. It is listening and accepting the discipline.
It goes to the attitude of the child in the relationship.
The contrast between “wise” and “scoffer” is central. A wise person receives correction; a scoffer rejects it with pride.
Why Should you accept discipline?
discipline is evidence of care, not rejection. Good parents try to direct their children into what is good and right and The refusal to listen reveals a hardened heart. Loving parents includes receiving correction without resentment.
To “reject” discipline is to treat it as worthless. “keeps reproof” means to treasure correction as something beneficial. This verse reframes discipline—not as punishment, but as a pathway to wisdom. Love is shown by valuing what parents are trying to shape in you.
The last part of the definition of loving parents is Honoring your parents
You might have had the question, when does it end? When does this obligation to obey parents' end? When does my submission and relationship with parents end? Well, it doesn't. Now it's noteworthy that the word obey is always coupled with children. That tells you that the obligation to do everything the parent commands refers to the time when the child is in the home and is under the ungoing responsibility of the parent. But this word honor is the lifelong part of the relationship
This carries us from birth to our parents' death. This command really covers it all.
That's why the 5th commandment says,
Love nurtures And cares Throughout life. It does not end when childhood ends.
What does honor mean“Honor” (kabed) literally means to give weight to. It is the picture of a scale where you are measuring your parent's value. And you're putting extra weight or value on the parent side. Your thumb is pressing down on the parent side. this involves treating parents as significant, worthy of respect and care. Is this important? This command stands at the hinge of the Ten Commandments—bridging love for God and love for others. The Jews divided the 10 Commandments into two parts . Those regarding God and those regarding men . But interestingly enough they put the 5th Commandment , honor your father and mother , as part of the God side of the commandments; To honor one's parents was to honor God.
Again it says
And honor goes directly to Care for your parents (especially in old age)
Caring for aging parents has been a part of biblical obedience from the Old Testament to the New Testament.
Old Testament
love matures into responsibility. honoring aging parents includes dignity, patience, and provision. This is where love is most tested and most clearly seen.
New Testament
Jesus rebukes religious leaders who used the tradition of “Corban” to avoid supporting their parents. this was a legal loophole to dedicate money to God while withholding it from family. Jesus exposes this as hypocrisy. True devotion to God never excuses neglect of parents.
Later New Testament
caring for parents is an expression of true religion. The phrase “make some return” highlights a moral obligation—children repay, in part, the care they once received. Neglecting parents is seen as a failure of faith.
️ And you all have done this haven't you? I tell you why church is such a blessing. People will say, I can get better preaching at home. But you can't get better models for how to treat your parents at home. Because we see this modeled here. I have seen and heard about so many of you who honored your parents as they aged. It sets a great example for what our own kids will do for us.
The second short point
II. The Warning: Failure to Love Parents Is Serious Sin
This is a warning.
There are three kinds of failure In honoring parents and they get progressively worse. Cursing, disobedience, and violence.
And Scripture does not treat this lightly.
Cursing
“Curses” implies contempt, dishonor, or speaking evil. Andthis severe penalty reflects how seriously God views parental authority. It is not merely a family issue—it is rebellion against God’s established order.
It's restated in
this sin is grouped with other serious moral violations; Sacrificing children to Moloch, consulting mediums, committing adultery, incest and cursing parents, demonstrating its weight before God.
2nd
Disobedience
this phrase appears in a list describing a society under God’s judgment. Disobedience to parents is not minor—it is evidence of a corrupt heart and a culture in moral decline.
In the last days
Here it marks the “last days.” that rejection of parental authority reflects broader rebellion against all authority, including God’s.
3rd level is violence
Strike
This is the warning of the Old Testament and the New Testament about how God viewed any action that dishonored parents
Disrespect for parents is not minor—it is a mark of rebellion against God Himself. It places a person in the category of moral decay and judgment. You cannot claim to love God while despising the authority He placed over you.
But you don't know my parents. I can imagine. The things that happen in families, from parents are and can be horrible. And I use that word purposefully. A horror show. And by saying that it's God's command to honor parents I am not saying that it's a command to endure abuse, or to endure parents whose value system entirely contradicts God's word and love. That's why it's becoming a regular part of my funeral services to talk about forgiveness. Times parents drive their kids away by sin. Last honor a child can give their parent, even in an evil one, is to try and forgive, understand, and seek that parents' salvation and pray that God will reach them.
Last short point
III. The Blessing: Loving Parents Brings Life and Joy
God attaches promises to love in this relationship.
three things joy, longevity, and generational blessing.
Joy
Love in a parent child relationship has an emotional impact: children’s choices bring either joy or grief.
Righteous living produces joy not just spiritually, but relationally. Parents rejoice when their children walk in truth.
Second the blessing
Longevity
Obedience to instruction leads to “length of days.” This means both a quality and stability of life under God’s blessing. Now, this is a generality. We know that not all obedient children live long.
Is a principle of life. Think about why. Obedient children learn submission. Stress, bad habits They have a support system in life. Children who are alienated from parents – stress, bad habits, less support in life.
3rd
Generational blessing
Pleasant family gatherings
Obedience and honor, passed down through generations, leads to pleasant family gatherings.
God has wired blessing into obedience in the home.
Conclusion
I am aware that these kinds of sermons often bring sadness, regret, resentment. Because many may say, I didn’t have that. I didn’t do that. I haven’t talked to any parents who haven’t expressed some regret about some way they raised thheir children.
But there are a couple of things to tell you. First, start where you are. Second, lean on God and the church.
God is father to the orphan. God is the perfect parent.