1 Corinthians 7: 1-40
7 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must [a]fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and [b]come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say as a concession, not as a command. 7 [c]Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one this way, and another that.
Well we are not going read this entire chapter but our message today and next week and possibly the next week comes out of the entirety Of First Corinthians 7. Today we are going be considering a chapter that is very practical. Sometimes sermons are doctrinal. They have to do with what we believe concerning our Christian faith, but may have little to do with what we do on a day to day basis. But sometimes scripture gets practical and down to earth. The entire chapter 7 of Corinthians is a practical set of guidelines concerning marriage, singleness, widowhood, and chastity.
If you were going to title the whole chapter, you might call it, “ Guidelines for marriage and singleness.” And we can all relate to that because all of us have been or are presently either single or married. And the real issue is, “ How do I live in this world, with its values, regarding marriage and singleness? How should a Christian live? Now you may think that reading a 2000 year old letter regarding these subjects would be out of date or irrelevant. I mean we are in the modern age, What could the apostle possibly have to say to modern mores regarding marriage? Well, It is surprisingly a lot.
You see the Roman world of the first century wasn’t really all that different, in this area, than our own. See if this sounds familiar. The church in Corinth was a mix of Jewish and Gentile people who came to faith in Jesus Christ. But everyone came from different backgrounds. And because of that when the problems of marriage and singleness were discussed There were mixed messages concerning how to fix them.
Let’s take the Jewish culture for an example. What did the Jewish people believe about marriage and singleness? There is evidence that some Jews in and around the first century strongly valued marriage and childbearing, and that later rabbinic teaching treated procreation as a religious obligation. Some Jewish people were taught that it was a sin not to marry. Why did they consider it a sin? Well, they got it from scripture.
In Genesis 1:28 God tells the first human couple, “Be fruitful and multiply.” Later Jewish teachers understood this as a commandment concerning procreation. This is your obligation. There is historic evidence to suggest that some believed this.
In Josephus, a Jewish historian writing in the first century, there is a description of a group of Essenes who believed that those who declined to marry were cutting off the continuation of the human race. In the Mishnah, written later (200 AD) it is written that a man should not abstain from procreation unless he already has children. It records a debate over whether the obligation applies to women as well. There is further evidence in the Babylonian Talmud. So, there was that influence in the Corinthian Church.
What about the culture of Rome?
In the Roman world, we find social customs around marriage, divorce, and sexual conduct differed immensely from Jewish tradition and God’s design. For example, there were several forms of marriage recognized in Roman society. There were at least four marital arrangements in the Roman world. They had names.
1. Contubernium was an enslaved couple’s union. An enslaver could allow two enslaved people to live together. He calls it “tent companionship” and describes it as a relationship without the legal standing of a citizen’s marriage. But, the downside was, If the master decided to sell the mail or female, they could be sent away and the union was over. There was also something called,
2. Usus — a common-law-like arrangement. Just like today, a man and woman who lived together for a time, in Roman law a year, and then were regarded as married. Now it’s possible historically that this practice may have been prohibited by the time Paul wrote to the Corinthians. You also had
3. Coemptio in manum — marriage by purchase. This was an arrangement in which a father sold his daughter to a prospective husband. We see that in scripture. Remember that Laban practically sold Rachel and Leah as brides to Jacob. They didn’t have much say in it. Then you had
4. Confarreatio — a formal marriage ceremony. This was Marriage in a way that we are more familiar with. It involved the elaborate ceremony associated with noble Roman families. In fact our marriage ceremony comes Roman marriage rather than Scripture or Judaism. Our weddings take place typically in one day. The Jews had a week long wedding Feast. The Roman marriage ceremony included things like an exchange of rings, gifts for the couple, a white dress with a veil, attendants and children in the ceremony, a procession, a feast and even a wedding cake.
So, they were getting messages from the Roman culture about marriage. The Corinthian Church may have also picked up some ideas from both Jesus and Paul that would seemed to indicate singleness is the ideal.
So, some, in the church, apparently thought abstaining from marriage or marital relations was more spiritual. The cultural expression of marriage was such a mess that some probably reasoned that it was better not to marry.
Other believers were married. But they were married to unbelievers. So they were saying, “ I just dump this chump And live a life devoted to Christ. Other believers were married to believers . But they said, “ We’re married but if we’re going to lock in on Christ, No sex.” All of these ideas were being proposed and encouraged in the Corinthian Assembly. It was a mess. So, what did they do? They wrote Paul a letter asking about all of this and what the truth of it all was. Well, our book of First Corinthians is the response to that letter about marriage and the other issues that they were having. We’re going to go over this chapter over the next couple of weeks.
prayer
We have five points that we are going to cover on this chapter About Singleness and marriage.
Singleness is good, Singleness is difficult. Marriage is good. However, marriage is difficult. Don’t seek change but seek the Lord. But before we jump into those points, I think we need to say something about the authority of this chapter. There are lots of people, even in the church, who have a problem with Paul and his writings. Some people throw them out entirely because of what he teaches in this chapter regarding marriage, in other chapters about the role of women, and homosexuality. They will say that he is addressing his culture. That we need to interpret this another passage, And other passages culturally. Things have changed. But as we have seen, Things have not changed The same issues of Today were issues back then. Then there is a second group of people who will discount what he says in this chapter because of some phrases he uses in the chapter. For example, It says verse 5,
I. “This passage is the inspired Word of God.”
5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and [b]come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say as a concession, not as a command.
12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not [f]divorce her.
25 Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who [m]by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy.
Let’s look at that middle phrase in verse 12. “ I say, not the Lord.” Some that this just Paul’s opinion. I don’t need to follow this He is only speaking out of his own mind not out of the inspiration of the Spirit. But that is not what he is saying. He is not saying This is my opinion do what you want about marriage and singleness. If you interpret it that way, you don’t know Paul very well. No, what he’s saying is, “ The rest I say, not the Lord.” He is saying, “ I am giving you instructions as one inspired by the spirit, Because Jesus didn’t give specific instructions on this.
Remember, for example, in the sermon on the mount, Jesus said, Matthew 5:31
“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce, but I say to you…’
Then he teaches on marriage and divorce. But, of all of Jesus teachings did he ever give instructions these circumstances that Paul was addressing in Corinth? What do you do when you’re married to an unbeliever? What is the place of intimacy in marriage? Should I get married at all? Jesus gave general teaching but typically did not give specifics. So Paul is saying here, “ The rest I say, not the Lord.” He is saying, sometimes I’ll tell you what the Lord says, and other times I will speak as the Spirit directs with new revelation. The writings of Paul are the inspired Word of God. If you can throw away part of Paul, you can throw it all away, and that casts doubt on all of the New Testament and ultimately all of the Bible.
So, let’s begin with our first point.
II. “Singleness is good, contrary to Jewish thought.”
Let me pull out three verses.
7 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.
“ To touch a woman” Was a euphemism for having an intimate relationship with a woman. He is saying, “ It is good to remain chaste.” It’s good not to marry. Now, here is a second verse
7 [c]Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.
Paul was a single man. Many believed that he had been married and that his wife had died. They believed he had been married because he was originally a member of the Sanhedrin and that was a later requirement for membership. But Paul is saying that, because of his singleness, He could devote his life without care to the spread of the gospel. and that he would desire that same kind of single mindedness for other believers. “ It is good. Here’s another verse in this chapter.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.
If you are you can have a single minded devotion to God.
Now, some believe that “the unmarried” here to include those previously married and now single. That would include widows and the divorced. But, it’s good to be single, This sometimes runs contrary to previous conventional thought. Somebody is single and we want to find them a mate. If they don’t have a mate, there must be something wrong with them. I remember in first bapt Mound Valley there was a Sunday school class that was a mixed of married people and single people. Some referred to it as “ Pairs and spares.” One of the single men in that class told us how much he hated that name, because he was a spare. But that’s not what Paul says. He says singleness is good. Why?
32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. 33 But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests have been divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit. But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 Now this I say for your own benefit, not to put a restraint upon you, but [q]to promote propriety and undistracted devotion to the Lord.
He what we all know. When you’re married, you have to consider your spouse and everything. If I get off work, and I plan to go to the hardware store. What do I do before I go to the hardware store? I called Denise. I say, “ I need to go to the hardware store so I’ll be a little later.” I am not asking permission. Right honey? So now I am being considerate. But as a single person if God called me to the mission field of Central America, I could act immediately. Pack my duffel bag and go. But if I’m married, have kids, and a house, I have to consider all that and navigate following God’s will, while bringing my family to the same understanding and direction. And that’s good and right It’s not that Paul is saying that it is sinful to want to please your spouse. It is part of obeying God. You made a marriage vow for life. You are two who have become one.
But his point is that there is a part of singleness that is good. Contrary to what some Jewish parishioners might have been saying, it is not a sin to be single. It is not a sin to not have children. In fact, It is good. It can give you a freedom to serve God in a unique way but our second point is
III. Singleness is difficult
Look at verse one again
7 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.
Singleness is difficult. It is difficult because of sexual immoralities. Just like in that day, the Corinthians were surrounded by temptations to immorality. So we are today, and 100 times more so. Today we have sexuality thrown in our faces from the media, Internet,, and then we have people who have no standards. They would seek a relationship from anyone married, single, whatever. So Paul is singleness is good, but if you can’t handle the temptation, desires, the longing for intimacy, singleness is not good so how could anyone withstand all of that? Paul says it’s a gift. It’s like preaching, teaching, and encouragement. And Do you know what? Jesus said something similar His disciples after hearing Jesus teach on the high expectation of staying married for life said to him, “ If the case of the man be so in marriage it is better not to marry. To which Jesus replied,
Matthew 19:11–12 11 But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”
A eunuch was someone who was made surgically sterile. Incapable of intimacy. Some people chose that life. But Jesus said not everyone can receive it. Only those to whom it is given. What is the summary of that? Singleness is difficult unless you a special giftedness in that area.
Look at verse 7 again
7 [c]Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one this way, and another that.
He is actually saying that chastity and singleness, being able to remain single and refraining intimate relationships, and not be consumed with temptation, saying, “ I’m so alone. I want to get married. That is a gift. It is the gift of contentedness and allows single mindedness. It’s a gift. Verse continues the thought.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows…
If you are a widow or widower, if you can handle it, it’s good
that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
It is better to marry than to is what the actual Greek words are but the sense is to burn with passion. If you’re going to be consumed with your deprivation., Then get married. Singleness is good but it is difficult.
Our next point that
IV. Marriage is difficult
You might say hold it aren’t you supposed to start with Marriage is good? Well I wanted to get this out of the way. Marriage is difficult. And it is difficult for 4 reasons. Marital duty, lifelong obligation, discord, and trouble. Let’s start with marital duty.
3 The husband must [a]fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
There is a marital duty. We know that there are duties in marriage. But this is particularly talking about intimacy. You say is intimacy an obligation? Sometimes. Let’s be honest. We’re tired. Sometimes one of us is tired and the other is not. But Paul is dealing with some people who were saying to their spouses, “ That’s rude You know, I really want to concentrate on Being devoted to the Lord and you’re a distraction.” That’s some real romance right? No more intimacy. Well Paul says no. That’s part of marriage and he goes on to say, “ Wives, your body belongs to your husband, husband, your body belongs to your wife. Stop depriving one another. Now is there a place for refraining for a time? Yes
5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and [b]come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
But notice Even when it is to devote yourself to prayer it is only for a time and it must be a mutual agreement.
There were times like that in the Old Testament. When God called on Israel to set aside a time for prayer. In
“Let
the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet.”
—Joel 2:16, KJV Bible Gateway
The priests are instructed to weep and pray for God to spare his people. The image is striking: even a bride and groom are to leave their private celebration to join the community’s urgent repentance and prayer.
So, Paul’s emphasis is on giving oneself to one’s spouse, not selfishly demanding one’s own way. But there is difficulty in marriage because of the obligations. And there is a second kind of difficulty. It is a lifelong obligation
10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not [d]leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not [e]divorce his wife.
God designed marriage to be for life. He might say well you don’t understand my circumstances. You know Paul was writing back in the old days where marriages were like those on Happy Days or the Waltons or Little House on the Prairie. When everyone was nice. No he addressing a time like that. Remember earlier when I mentioned the different marital types in Rome? Yes, some Ch to be married to someone that they loved. But some were slaves and had marriages chosen for them. Some were literally sold into marriage. So not every marriage was out of love. But yet he says don’t leave. And if you leave there are two choices. Reconcile with your former spouse or stay unmarried. And Jesus said the same.
Matthew 19:4-6 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Mark 10:11-12 11 And He *said to them, “Whoever [e]divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; 12 and if she herself [f]divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”
Well you might ask aren’t there exceptions? Yes. Jesus identifies sexual immorality as an exception in His teaching on divorce (Matthew 5:32; 19:9). The other is if an unbelieving partner leaves you. We will look at that in a moment. But marriage is difficult because it is a lifelong obligation and that is not easy. Anyone with any experience knows that. I remember when Denise and I went to her 30 year high school reunion. And they had all the married couples go out and dance. Then they said if you’ve been married 5 years stay on the dance floor. So, some married couples left. Then they said if you’ve been married 10 years stay otherwise have a seat. And the numbers kept getting bigger. Now at that time we had been married for 29 years and there were three couples left. Will everyone applauded and then in a few minutes went to the restroom and in the restroom there were a couple other guys in there, I didn’t know them. One of them looked at me and said oh you’re one of the guys that have been married for 29 years. HE I don’t know how you do that. Well he was expressing my point, that marriage is difficult. And it is difficult because of the lifelong commitment. It has its rewards but it has its difficulties.
Now we all know that part of that comes based on who you marry. And that is the third reason why marriage is difficult Because of discord. Look at the next verses.
12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not [f]divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband.
Paul is addressing the fact that some believers in Corinth were married to unbelievers. And being married to an unbeliever Well of course’cause friction. They are unequally yoked. We always advise young people to marry a Christian but not just any Christian but a Christian who is committed to following the Lord. Why? Because if you are serious about following Christ, if you marry an unbeliever you will end up bumping heads repeatedly. Let me give you some examples. You are a Christian. God convicts you about tithing to the church. You go to your unbelieving spouse and say, I want to give 10% of my paycheck to the church. Do you think they will have a problem. Here’s another example. An unbelieving wife gets pregnant. She tells her husband, I’m aborting this baby because I’m not ready to be a mother. By the world’s standards, he’s just supposed to say, OK dear I support your decision. But as a believer his react would be different Here’s another example. You have kids. You want to teach them that God created the world and if they put their trust in Jesus they will go to heaven when they die. Your spouse thinks that is a fantasy world and refuses to tell the kids that. In fact he tells them the opposite.
So there can be difficulty in marriage because of discord. And a believer being married to an unbeliever is probably the greatest example of how far that discord can go. But what had happened in the Corinthian Church was some of these people had become Christians but their spouse did not become a Christian. And maybe they were considering Paul’s teachings about things like sexual immorality. And he said committing fornication with a harlot is to become one flesh with that harlot. And by extension they think Am I not corrupting myself by being one flesh with this heathen? So some of them were wanting to dump their unbelieving partners and find themselves a good Christian man or woman. But this is what Paul says.
if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not [f]divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not divorce her husband.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through [g]her believing husband.
What does it mean that the unbelieving spouse is sanctified by the believing spouse? The word sanctified means set apart. Think of it like this. It used to be that people had good dishes and the everyday dishes. The everyday dishes are those you used with the family every day. The good dishes were set apart. They were set apart for when we had company. They were the nice, pretty dis that all matched and had no chips in them. And what did we do with those dishes when we didn’t have company? We put them in a China cabinet. They are under special protection to make sure they remain nice. Well when Paul says that the unbelieving spouse is sanctified by the believing spouse he is saying this. A believer is under the protective hand of God. God is watching over them. God is protecting them from certain things. He is guarding their footsteps. Well, since the unbelieving spouse is married to that person Comm It can’t be helped but that God’s care and protection will extend to the unbelieving spouse. If he’s going to keep you as a believer from a car accident and the spouse is also in the car they are protected as well.
For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
God is watching over the whole family. So, don’t leave them just because they are an unbeliever. Is it going to be difficult? Yes. But you don’t have permission to divorce them just because they are an unbeliever. But what if they leave me. What if my unbelieving spouse says, “ I can’t stay with this Bible thumping holy roller” This is what Paul says
15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases, but God has called [h]us [i]to peace.
You are called to peace. You can’t make someone be committed to you. Then Paul answers another objection. The wife might say well if I just let him go how will he ever come to Christ. How will he get saved?
16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
He is who saves a person? The Holy Spirit is the one who saves a person. Yes, it’s possible that if your spouse chooses to remain with you that your influence may be used by the Holy Spirit to bring them to faith. But if they leave, The Holy Spirit may use some other person or circumstances to bring them to Christ. You don’t know what is going to ultimately bring them to salvation.
So, in those circumstances, if the unbeliever leaves, can the believer remarry?
15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not enslaved in such cases,
The believer is not under bondage in those cases. And the bondage here the bondage obligation of life long marriage. They are free to remarry. That is the other exception in regard to divorce. Adultery, abandonment. Now let’s talk a minute about a third A; abuse. So what do we do with abuse? Some preachers and commentators in the past have used these passages of scripture from Paul to tell abused spouses that since they don’t have a biblical grounds for divorce that they just needed to go subject themselves to continued abuse. I don’t agree with that. Now I also don’t believe that divorce is necessarily the answer. But there passages in scripture that are relevant to this discussion. There are passages on self defense in scripture. You have the right under God’s law not to get beaten up. You have the right under God’s law to protect your children from being abused. Let me show you.
Psalm 82:3–4 calls for justice for the vulnerable and says:
“Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked.” —KJV
Proverbs 22:3 says:
“A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” —KJV
This is general wisdom about recognizing danger, not a passage specifically about domestic abuse. Still, it supports the principle that taking refuge from a foreseeable threat is wise.
And sometimes the only way To save yourself is to get out. Is that always divorce? Probably not. But you tried to save yourself to get out to protect yourself protect your children and possibly save the marriage but not surrender to abuse. All that to say that marriage is difficult. There is a final reason why marriage is difficult.
27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
He says you will have troubles in this life. Marriage trouble. What does that mean? Well generally speaking every marriage has trouble. Because marriage is the joining of two sinners. I mean, I love being married. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But my wife is a Sinner. And last I heard your wife is a Sinner too. And I am a Sinner Well you put two centers together there’s going to be trouble. Then if you have children you throw in a few more sinners and there will be more trouble There are personality differences, different mental derangements, different selfish manipulations and neuroses. Even the best of people bring baggage to marriage. So marriage is difficult because there is trouble.
But I think Paul also has in mind here persecution and tribulation. We live in a reasonable society. But if our society changes and we end up with Christians arrested, Christians put to death, Christians exiled, Christians tortured, as it was in Paul’s day Then there is an added trouble for an individual if they are married. It’s one thing to go to death or prison as a single person. It’s to be arrested in front of family or have them ripped away from you It is extra trouble.
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36 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let [r]her marry. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart, [s]being under no compulsion, but has authority [t]over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.
39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband has [u]fallen asleep, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I also have the Spirit of God.
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
the innocent spouse in a divorce on biblical grounds to be free to remarry. He also applies this principle to abandonment by an unbelieving spouse in 1 Corinthians 7:15. These are serious pastoral matters. Individual circumstances should be considered carefully with trusted church leadership.
V. Marriage is good
This statement sounds like a gloomy outlook on marriage. However, marriage is the default state for most people. “If being single is so great, why is that the case”Are pastors married? Because singlehood is rare. Because, as a pastor, you are an example of how to manage all this.
Proverbs
18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor
from the LORD.
Singleness is good, but marriage provides a proper setting for sexual intimacy
— vv. 1–2
God’s design provides the foundation
God created marriage and described husband and wife as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:18, 24). The very first institution was not singleness. God could have created a being that procreated on its own.
Proverbs 5:18 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And be glad in the wife of your youth.
Jesus affirmed God’s design and warned against separating what God has joined together (Matthew 19:4–6; Mark 10:6–9). You guys who are dumping wives…
Marriage is honorable, and sexual intimacy belongs within it (Hebrews 13:4).
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled,
Matthew 19:10–12 10 The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”
Ephesians 5:25-29 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church [n]in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
1
Peter 3:1-2 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that
even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the
conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied
by fear.
Philippians 2:3-4 3 doing nothing [b]from [c]selfish ambition or vain glory, but with humility of mind regarding one another as more important than yourselves, 4 not merely looking out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
You will have trouble. Going to death and persecution when married is difficult.
28 But if you marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have [p]trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.
VI. Be content in the circumstances you find yourself.
17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. 18 Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Each man must remain in that [j]condition in which he was called.
21 Were you called while a slave? [k]Do not worry about it. But if you are able also to become free, rather [l]do that. 22 For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brothers, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.
1 Timothy 4:1-5 Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will
depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of
demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a
hot iron, forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods
which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and
know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be
refused if it is received with thanksgiving; for it is sanctified by the word
of God and prayer.
A person
called while enslaved should not regard that status as preventing faithful
service to Christ. If an opportunity for freedom comes, Paul says to make use
of it. The enslaved believer is the Lord’s freedperson; the free believer is
Christ’s servant. Believers were bought with a price and ultimately belong to
Christ.
Why didn’t Paul advocate slave rebellion- overthrow slavery- people try to push our current understandings and values on to a culture 2000 years old.. Is it good that slavery was overturned- yes. That women got the vote-yes. Freedom of religion-yes. But Paul was not a freedom fighter. He was fighting for internal freedom- more important than external- if he shifted the message to social justice- lose the bigger message.
It happens today.
John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, that in
Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good
cheer, I have overcome the world.”
Paul is not telling believers to neglect their spouses or responsibilities, but to live with their devotion directed toward what lasts.
Interpretive note: Some understand these verses to concern a father and his virgin daughter; others understand them to concern a man and his betrothed. The central point remains that marriage is permitted and singleness can be advantageous. MacArthur discusses the passage in his study guide on verses 32–40.